Two months.

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You know, once in a while I would get really scared of life, scared of what will, what won't happen. Sometimes it's baseless, sometimes it's because I'm waiting or dreading something, or maybe of the fact that I know nothing of what will happen. But eventually I will pull through, by myself, by a lot of help, or things just fall into place. Yet nothing like this, maybe because this is not about just me anymore.

Yeah, I was scared I was making the wrong choice when I get married. I wasn't entirely convinced that it's going to last long, for countless reason. See, that part of me that is thinking about the worst possibility, sometimes eats me up. But yeah, since it's just me battling my own thoughts, and I will push them away. I don't know about this time.

You see, weeks before my wedding I freaked out, even freaked my husband, but yeah, we got married anyway. I finally got down to the fact that if something is going to be, then face it. Face it like I always do. Only this time, what the hell am I going to do?

Screw that, I should stop cursing. I don't even know why I started on watching Supernatural from the first season, again. I hate gory stuff, I hate blood. And I certainly don't like pain, especially when someone told me about it. So why am I still going on with this?

I'm two months pregnant. I've known about it for quite some time, and I still can't wrap my head around it. I just can't. Other than my stomach still the same, or that I'm fainting every other day and that gastritis, I'm still like how I used to be. I sleep at every opportunity that I get, only difference now that I sleep even though I can do something, or I'll get this massive headache.

Screw this. I'll get over this like how I always do, and with a mini me to go through.

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