Parents

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Lost. Forever. My friend lost his dad on the same day they were celebrating his mum's birthday. I was already crying, from watching stray dogs being caught and when they let out a cry. Right now, I'm thinking what would it feels like if it's me. Nauzubillah, in any time soon, but still. Who am I to challenge the power of God? How can I predict the future? I wonder how I will be if I'm to face the same situation. I wonder how will our family go on? I wonder if I can go on? I'm an idiot daughter, I've never show any kind of appreciation towards my parents. I'm not a good daughter, and you might as well as call me someone who would not remember her parents for raising her. True, it's so true. How many times have I disappoint my dad? How many times have I made my mum cried? I don't even know myself. See how terrible I am? See how ungrateful I am? But still my parents did not tossed me away. My mum did not scold me when I cried after seeing my college's result. My dad let me apply wherever I like, even though he complained about my choice of course after that. I know that my mum felt pity for me, she feel sorry that her eldest daughter could not advanced towards degree. And my dad wanted me to be able to find a job after getting a degree, wanting me to be able to support myself and be able to do what I like. Behind all those babblings and scolding, my parents wanted me to be the best and have the best. I could not be the best, so it is hard for me to get the best, no matter what my parents have done for me. Because it the end, it's up to me to decide where my life will headed. I wasted a chance to get a life that I wanted, and making my parents very disappointed with me. I was angry with my dad for not speaking to me after he find out about my results, without thinking about his feelings. I'm a pathetic daughter, aren't I? Maybe it will be better if I wasn't born and become a hassle to my parents like this, But I'm lucky to be born, and I should appreciate the second chance that Allah has granted me, and be a better person so that I won't disappoint my parents again. I should have realised earlier that my dad has worked hard for me, to give me everything that I want and need.

I will change, I know I will. I will try harder. I will remember that my time with my parents are being counted, so I should be able to make full use of the present time.


Mum, Dad. I love you. This might be the first time you have it from me, and I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I won't disappoint you again. I will be a great person, like you always dreamed of.

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