You

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Dear you,

Look at me. Look at me. I said, look at me and tell me; do you really think I don't have feelings? Or is it you, whom are not able to feel like all other human beings do? You do things according to you, you have never asked me, not even once. I wonder why. Are you that insensitive towards other's feelings? I know, that we are not perfect. But not noticing something that even an unfamiliar person realised is not something that I can understand. And you called yourself a friend? I wonder about that. I wonder where do that come from. Maybe those people don't know you as well as I do. Me, who stick with you all the times, and me, whom you'd ignored because of the people. I wonder what do you see in them. My other friends said you're an idiot, and I said you're kind. I feel like puking when I said those words, I'm lying too much just to save your face. It's not like I'm not your friend anymore, but I have the same feeling with them. Like I don't have to be nice to you, because you don't really treated me as your friend. I wonder if you're ashamed to be with me? I wonder if you wanted cool friends that you've forgotten about me? Maybe I'm not what you will call cool, but I'm just being myself. I don't have to follow a certain someone just to make sure that I stand out in the crowd. In fact, I don't like to stand in the crowd at all, unlike you. I'd rather if a few people took notice of me and treasure my presence than having everyone around me but nobody to appreciate me. It's kinda lonely, isn't it? I don't know about you, because you seemed to be happy most of the time, even if I don't know your feelings inside. You seemed dark to me, in your writing, but in front of everyone you show your smile like it was nothing. It is really necessary to put on a facade like that everyday? Why lie when you know that they're using you? I thought that in friendship, there's give and take? You keep giving but refused to take. A relationship won't work this way. A relationship is fake this way. A relationship will crumble like this. 

I wanted to tell you all these, but I can't. I wish you'll read this, but do you even know the existence of my blogs? I wanted to be friends with you, but not just to the extend of knowing others names. I wish I can fix this. I wish I can.


Love,
Me

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