Insecure.

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Well, that is something new. As much as I know that I'm such an imperfect person, I don't really like to think about what I don't have. Or rather, I really don't give a damn about what others have that I don't, because well, I may have something that they don't.

Really, it used to be that simple. That God is fair in His way. That what I have, who I am, is enough for me, and that is all that really matters. That He will only give me what I need, not what I want. That He knows better.

Never before I feel this inferior to someone. True, someone else is smarter, someone else is better looking, but I don't care about that. This time, regardless of what I have done, what I have given, I still feel like it's not enough. That I can never do enough, give enough. It's crazy, but I'm already at my limits. That I don't know what else I should do, what else to feel just to be rid of this insecurity. It hurts.

Someone else is much better.



p/s: Waiting for a few weeks won't kill me. As impatient as I am, I can wait for years, if it needed be.

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