a Life's Story

When I told him, I'm feeling something is wrong, he said, "Just believe in yourself and you'll be okay" "But before that, you have to believe in me first" You know that I will. So for that, I thank you Why does it has to be you to notice it first that I was crying even though you're in another part of the world?

My back hurts terribly... I've spending all day sittting in front of my laptop. And I think I took less than two hours away from it since I woke up. And I woke up super early today so that's like... over 8 hours? maybe even more than 10 I think I'm breaking the record of even the most geeky person on earth. I need to sleep early, but I feel like posting so here I am. I'm feeling a bit sleepy, that's good. But I don't why when I'm lying on the bed I felt wide awake. So much of having trouble sleeping. And I don't feel like doing any subbing work either. Today all I did was hunting down some apps but to no avail I'll search tomorrow, after I'm back from my driving lesson. Wish me luck

I'll do whatever I want, No matter what it takes, With no change of heart Because I have to believe in myself, That I'm capable of doing it Proccuring whatever dreams I have, Sealing my fate with my own doing, Needless of any other interference I'll live, I'll move on, Until it is time to stop

Is it hard not to make the same mistake again? Does it take a lifetime to figure out a reason to live, a reason that we were born? Can you considered it as living if you're doing it just to fulfill other people's expectations? Is it so hard to keep on living as you face a lot of obstacles in your path? Why were you born to face all these? LOL. I'm nowhere near depressed. Though honestly, like seriously, I usually wrote/ think about this kind of things when I'm stressed. ^_^ Recently, I saw something that makes me think about how wonderful it is to be born. Again?! Yes, again. Because a lot of people seems to be searching for it, yet more people don't even give this kind of thing a single thought and just live their life simply that way. I'm saying that living with a purpose is better even if you have to sacrifice a lot of things for it. Why? Because I don't want to be an empty shell, soul-less person who did everything like a robot. I believe tha...

I don’t know what should I do now Cause right now I’m feeling lost And I’m so confused… People always say Never went against the world” “Or you lose…” And so far I’ve lived by these words So then why I’m feeling really down It seems just like That my life is reaching its end Tell me Is it wrong to do what I love? Tell me Is it wrong to chase my own dreams? Tell me Is it wrong to be who I am Please tell me… Is it wrong for me To live my life Like I wanted it to be..?

Yeah… life goes on, yet it doesn’t change much~ I’ll get damn bored these days if I don’t have these jobs to do. Which is timing vids and such. At first I started just for the sake of myself, subbing PVs so I can sing along with it, and understand the meaning. [Since I’m a fan of J-Pop,] but I’ve assigned myself a part-time, payless job. A timer for a fan subbing group… Ha, ha. So far I’ve been given few vids and a couple of radio shows. They can be quite interesting and are simply a great way to improve my Japanese language, which is becoming better day by day. [Yet sadly, I can’t say the same for my internal and external hard drives memories…] And of course, I finally understand how do these people feels, trying to finish a whole drama series. Starting from translating until the release…. It can be quite tedious, but for the sake of other fans, they did it. [Actually, my real reason for doing this is so I can get these vids subbed earlier than other people~!] Even though this grou...

This is a song for every girl who's Ever been through something She thought she couldn't make it through I sing these words because I was that girl too Wanting something better than this But who do I turn to? Now we're moving from the darkness into the light This is the defining moment of our lives 'Cause you're beautiful like a flower More valueable than a diamond You are powerful like a fire You can heal the world with your mind There is nothing in the world that you cannot do When you believe in you, who are beautiful, Yeah you, who are brilliant Yeah you, who are powerful Yeah you, who are resilient This is a song for every girl who Feels that she is not special' Cause she don't look like a supermodel Coke bottle The next time the radio tells you to shake your moneymaker Shake your head and tell them Tell them you're a leader Now we're moving from the darkness into the light This is the defining moment of our lives 'Cause you're beautiful...

I heard this song from somewhere and I think it's a really good song. I felt tired with my empty life these days. But this song taught me how to appreciate just to be able to live and see life as it is. Actually, I'm in the middle of a subbing project, but I just felt like not doing anything; felt like I want to laid back and keep looking back on my past. But that is my mistake, I should bear in mind that life is about moving forward, and by using past mistakes as the guide to a better future. Not complaining with your present life and forgot to plan for the future. There's hope There's hope The India.Arie Back when I had a little I thought that I needed a lot A little was overrated But a lot was a little too complicated You see, zero didn't satisfy me A million didn't make me happy That's when I learned a lesson That it's all about your perception Hey, are you a papa or a superstar? So you act, so you feel, so you are It ain't about the size of your...

well, a week has gone and yet nothing much happened. if you counted that i managed to time a 39s and a 2 mins clip in less than half an hour, and i've got a huge cash from my dad for my driving lessons; maybe there's something good from last week. by the way, my driving instructor told me that i'll be having my first lesson tomorrow at nine~ i'm not feeling anything at the moment, though. i mean, this is my first time driving , so i'm pretty sure that something will happen. if something really happens, wouldn't that make it more interesting? s houldn't i be nervous or something? anyway, i hope that i can master everything in those eight hours so i don't have to do extra hours.... i really wanted to be able to drive and go to many places on my own....! i'm going to bed now, eventhough i'm not sleepy because i have to wake up early tomorrow~

great. even though i'd promised myself to get this thing updated every week or so, but i haven't been doing this for a month.... right, so i passed the first part of driving exam test. i'm looking forward to the practical lessons now. i don't what accident will happen, since my dad never let me hang around the driver's seat too long to take him telling me off. in the mean time, i'm at home. doing nothing almost literally. since my application for universities have been rejected, i've been doing house work from morning till noon. beats me that i'm able to wake up early every morning just to do this. i've also noticed that my japanese had gotten better. i can get through a variety show and actually understand almost everything. i wanted to get serious with learning japanese so someday i'll be taking extra lessons just for that. [don't know when that'll happen, though] i have also tried subbing few vids myself and it turned out okay. but i n...

Dreams. Hope. Prayers. Visions. To me they are not just a string of beautiful words. Basically it's what my life is based on. I have lots of childish dreams, hoping it will become true one day, praying for it to be a reality, and visualizing what will happen when it does. Having seen lots of people with their childhood dreams become reality, really gives me a lot to think. They were raised in an environment which make them able to have dreams like that, and when they grew up, they simply had to make it a reality. And I just simply had a simple, carefree childhood. Which made me able to be children fully. I wasn't living in a terrible life before but sometimes I regretted that I had that kind of childhood. My parents always said that even as a kid, I never had a child naivety. Weird, huh? I wasn't exposed with lots of things back then. As a kid, what else can I do? As I grew up, I met lots of people. Not just the ones around my age, but others too. I have never come into a ...

It has been a long time since I last write an entry. I haven't been busy, that's why. Meaning I've got nothing to write, and I'm currently finishing a story. Recently I went back to my mum's hometown. Nothing much had change. It's still the same quiet village I've always known. My aunts, uncles, cousins and grandma were exactly like I've always remember. Especially grandma; her favouritism towards her own children is sickening me. She would always talked about her youngest daughter; whom, to me is not the most decent person I've ever met. And I haven't seen her husband for years now. She got married when I was around six or seven and I moved far away. I've seen him a couple of times when we went back once a year to the village. But when he suddenly didn't appear again I asked my cousin about it and he mumbled something like my aunt and her husband were a good-for-nothing kind of person. I don't really understand why. What kind of worl...

people has always been quoting other people's differences. but isn't that what the kids always do? i'm telling you, not only kids do this kind of thing nowadays, even adults do it all the time. i can forgive the kids but adults? i always hear old keep saying things like when you grow you'll gain more experience, learn a lot of things to mature our thoughts and acts. but how many adults did this? i can see it, when kids grow up, they simple gain more years, not maturity in thoughts. how many adults today have really grow up? how many of them have mature thoughts? i'm stating when i'm in between. after being 18 for few months. to me, adults doesn't mean you're reaching a certain age, but rather able to think further. able to distinguish right and wrong, to follow the right and helped the wrong. the world has gone sick, isn't it?

I wish, I can climb the mountain high I wish, I can reach the blue sky I wish, I can touch the distant stars Yes, I want to embrace the shining sun If only I can fly Sure I can be there Wherever I wanted to be I just need learn how How to spread my wings wide Can someone tell me how to fly? Will someone teach me how to fly? I’ve been looking I’ve been searching But I can’t seem to find it Maybe I was looking at the wrong place Maybe I was going to the wrong way But if I do And I really do I can always turn back And find the right way So one day I can fly Up and high to the sky To reach my dreams Now, it's in my hands [i wrote this few days ago because of boredom... that's all i can manage]

so now, i'm getting seriously bored, as hell. i got nothing to do except sleep, eat, or surf the net. surfing the net is fun, but it's making me weary.... i got nothing to look forward; not until the third week of june. or maybe my dad will let go for the driving test, that would be awesome. but he didn't say anything for now. oh yeah, i'm currently trying my hands on writing lyrics (i don't play instrument, though. that's a pity) and i tried to make it rhyme. if this keeps up for another couple of weeks, i may even lose my ability to finish my stories. yet writing stories is the easiest thing for me. don't ask me about going out, i don't hang around without nothing to do, and most of my friends don't like it, so that's out. looks like i'm going to be real stuff up when i got into university....