Blind

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I can't see it. Nobody can predict it. It's the future, yet we are anticipating it. Working every second of present for the sake of future. To some, the future is predictable, yet not exact. To others, the future is a blank, unfathomable.
As to me, I have a plan for my future. But since I don't know much about it, it feels a little like groping in the darkness. You know you're looking for the switch, but it's so dark that you lost your direction. Now that's something. I know I love metaphors, but this...
Right now I've told everyone I wanted to be a journalist, a writer that channels her thoughts on everything that caught her eye. Of course, in a way, I'm already one. I have this blog, and LJ and Twitter as well. Officially, I'm a writer that writes on anything I'm interested in. But I wanted more from this. I wanted to make this my job, gaining money to support my life, with my writing. I don't know how much prospects that I have, but I simply wanted to be recognised now. I don't mind building my career from below, but my definition of below goes way down. While I'm studying. While I haven't get the chance to narrow my choice. I want to nurture this (talent, some people told me) so when the time comes I will know what to do. I won't get lost in the dark looking for the light. I don't know whether my interest in various fields will help me in the future. My lecturer said yes, it will. Part of me thinks that its simply because the name of the course that I'm taking, Mass Communication. You are communicating with everyone on various things. Business, science, politics, education, anything. It's almost impossible to learn all these in few years. Learning the basics will take so much time already. But that's what I'm doing. I hate politics, yet I know what happened in the Parliament the day before. I hate business, yet I know the fact about US dollars going down. (Okay, maybe some of the fact are a little outdated. I'm on semester break, that's why) There are many things ongoing in the world, and me, (the future journalist, hopefully) have to keep tabs on them. It'll be embarrassing for some common people to come up to me and talk about the latest fad on the political world and for me to be completely clueless about it.
I wish I can live with my writings. Critics, insults, compliments are completely fine, as long as I'm able to write what I want. I don't want to write what the public wants....

I want to be free, doing things my way



Arashi's song translation: To Be Free
Credits goes to: yarukizero

We admired the flowing clouds
Nothing at all obstructing them
The colors of the sky we engraved in our memories
Are like that day and we hope it won't change
(Where should we go? To a place we haven't seen yet)
Time won't stop　Reach out your hand

We started running even though we were thirsty
Because we realized we wouldn't let our hearts be deceived
Without enhancing anything, just as we are
Simply going where the wind takes us, to be free

We laughed together in the sunlight
Our innocent voices are resounding even now
An overflowing amount of wishes that face tomorrow
Hoping they will shine, hoping they won't change
(You're not alone, so wipe your tears)
I think you'll realize what's important

We painted dreams even though we'd become transparent
Because we'll shine brighter than the unfaltering sun
Even leaving our sweat as it is
Simply searching for the light, to be free

Unable to look over our shoulders
We ran through to the end
Repeatedly going up and down, yeah
Those times were sometimes sweet, sometimes bittersweet

We started running even though we were thirsty
Because we realized we wouldn't let our hearts be deceived
Without enhancing anything, just as we are, to be free

We painted dreams even though we'd become transparent
Because we'll shine brighter than the unfaltering sun
Even leaving our sweat as it is

We started running even though we were thirsty
Because we realized we wouldn't let our hearts be deceived
Without enhancing anything, just as we are
Simply going where the wind takes us, to be free

To be free
To be free

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