a Life's Story

Today is 31st, right? *checks calendar* For the past years, I've been content with posting Happy New Year with the same photo (which was stolen, actually). But maybe this year should be a little different, especially when there's a lot of endings and discoveries (literally), this year. January-June: Seriously, I've totally have no recollection on what has happened. But like how I posted a single wish every year, it could be because there was no closure. End of year or not, I still have another semester to go. And another, and another.... July: I think this was when I first stepped foot outside of Malaysia. And it wasn't even with my family, it was with my awesome friends :D Being dramatic, I actually only went to Singapore for a day-trip to Universal Studio Singapore. It was the most tiring day of my life ever, but that was when I had the most fun with friends.  I think everyone's here, whether you can see them clearly or not LOL Proof...

All praise to Allah. I have reached half of the closure. Pretty effortless, and it seems silly because I was worrying about it. Really, thank God for it. And now I have work to get the other half put together, as it supposed to be. :)

To all my close friends who have found out; everyone has asked: "Why?" Honestly? I can give out a never ending list for an answer, and you might find that some other people, including those friends with traits similar to the ones on that list. But really, I don't know why. I mean, should I have a reason? Do I need one? I asked most of them about this, and they said no, and stop pursuing the topic on their own. I do understand the shock and the need to ask why though, but I just can't give a straight answer. If anyone is in my position, would you be able to give the exact answer to that question? Truth said, I don't even want to look for the answer. Because I think I've already know that I don't need one :)

Really, that is not the best thing you can say to me. And honestly, I am trying not to lose to my temper. What you're doing is simply adding fuel to the fire. Do you honestly think that you can just pretend like nothing had happened and I will be okay with that? Wrong.

I love them because they have the most honest lyrics ever (to me anyway). And I don't really have lots of love songs nor listen to RnB, raps and such, but usually I can listen to them. They don't have the prettiest voice, or the best music, but to me the lyrics are the one that counts.  And they're disbanding next year... The DJ is going to be the chief priest (his home is a temple). No more bittersweet lyrics :( Funky Monkey Babys - Sakura Tears of gratitude are overflowing in my heart now I want to protect you forever, forever Cherry blossoms fall, they fall on us as we feel brand new Let’s walk hand in hand forever, forever Until the end of time… I’ll speak from my heart now and tell you how I truly feel for the first time I have these emotions, without any lies, only for you It was so hard for me but I never showed it to anyone else With you, I felt like I could shed all the tears I kept deep in my heart From here on out, this path w...

Have your friends or family come to you for advice? Saying that they're torn between two choices?  Let's say that the two choices are "yes" or "no". You're confused, you don't know which one is the better choice, because you think that both yes and no are good choices. So you turn to someone, to ask for their opinion. If you come to me, I will mostly say either yes or no, firmly. Let's say I'd go with yes. I will tell all sorts of advantages that a yes has to offer. Although, all the positive comments will be stopped with a "but". Yes has this-and-that advantages. But, that's for my situation, from my position, I can say that. And no has here-and-there disadvantages. But , for you it's a different matter. That disadvantages may be something with a profit for you. Well, honestly. If you come and ask me which is better I'll say yes. But to you, for your position would you say yes is the better choice entir...

Because I don't say it well, and because I'm too scared to find out the answer;  I just went and say what I really feel, bluntly.

Bah! I'm blessed with great instincts. Too great, that sometimes it affected my life in advance. And by advance, I mean, two-three weeks notice. For some reason, I dreaded going back to this place. Even though it means that I get to go home (I honestly have lost track of where is home exactly) I still dreaded the flight. The airport was a mess, I had a headache that was gone only last night. Plus there's this one guy, who took all my patience not to swing a kick right into his gut. The journey was terrible due to turbulence (I'm not blaming anyone here) and for the first time ever, I can't sleep during a flight. Which is weird, I usually will fall asleep as soon as the flight takes off, all the time. Plus I was unlucky enough to have met a rude flight attendant, who took the rest of my patience level down to the bare minimum. Landed, wait forever for the luggage to arrive, got harassed (bothered) again by a random stranger, went for dinner (finally ha...

No matter how many times I've told myself to be strong, no matter how many times I've told myself that I'm okay, that I can get through this, no matter how many times I've tried to go on, I still can't do anything when everything is crumbling to pieces. I'm stuck. And there's no helping it. I'm stuck and I have to deal with all this by myself. Like always. Because it's the truth, and who am I kidding anyway? As it always do when I'm stuck, gathering remaining strength to run away from all this mess is far much easier than having to face this all alone. p/s Is trying hard not to tweet, because if I started to I might rambled all the way there. At least in my blog people can choose whether or not to read the rubbish I posted.