Mum and Dad

By -
I think I'm jealous of other kids, even my own brothers and sisters sometimes. 

Remember when you were a kid, your parents were always nagging about your homework? You parents will asked you what you have learnt, and that you should go study or read your books? Well, I have never been asked.

Say hello to my world. When I was a kid, I always wonder if my parents really love me. I wonder if I'm really their daughter, I wonder if I'm the unwanted child. I wonder if I run away, would they be looking for me. (A child's mind can be extra imaginative sometimes, and mine was... well, as you can read.)

But I spend a lot of time with dad, although almost everything that I can remember about mum when I was a kid was that she kept scolding (and hitting me) me because I was a naughty kid. I remember that she was the strict parent, while my dad spoiled me as much as he can :) I was really scared of mum, I kept everything away from her. I remember once when mum told dad to scold me, he shouted at me but kept winking and smiling. I have to cover my mouth to stop myself from cracking with laughter. In my child's mind, dad was the good parent, mum was like my stepmother in Cinderella.

Now?

I rarely get into fight with mum. Sometimes she will gossiped about her colleagues with me, sometimes she will tell me about my sisters and brothers, complaining about them being in their rebellious age or something. Sometimes we talked about shopping for clothes (but I'm not that fond of them). Sometimes I call my mum to ask the happenings at home, and she will tell me things that I didn't ask as well.

I get into silly squabbles with dad almost everytime. About money, about opinions, about his and mine life. We are similar in the sense of being stubborn, but our opinions and way of thinking didn't match at all. I can't guess what's on his head, for one thing. I remember when I first started to live in the hostel when I was 13, he will call me sometimes, out of the blue just to ask me about my daily life. 

I treasured the time talking with mum as much as I miss the random phone calls from dad. After that one big mistake that dad stopped talking to me for a month, he stopped the random calls, making me feel that I've gone too far away from his side. He was disappointed, I know. I know he was frustrated. I'm sorry, dad.

I started thinking that all the thoughts that I have when I was a kid as nonsense soon after I live in the hostel. I now know that, my parents love me; and so do I.


:)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Masscomm

By -
Image
Dua, tiga hari lepas, kat Twitter heboh orang kutuk budak masscomm. Macam-macam provoke aku jumpa, orang butthurt, orang tak kisah, orang yang pujuk orang butthurt cakap "masscomm awesome", macam-macam lagila. Orang lain maybe tak peduli pun pasal benda ni, tapi yela, kalau dah kena kutuk, mestilah nak bela diri sendiri balik, kan? Ijazah Sarjana Muda Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media dengan Kepujian (Kewartawanan). Tu course aku. Aku tak cakap aku budak masscomm dah, aku cakap aku budak Journalism. Sebab apa? Sebab fundamental masscomm dah belajar masa diploma. Masa diploma, yup, aku budak masscomm. (Sekarang pun masscomm, tapi dah ada major). Sebagai budak yang dulunya suka Fizik dan bercita-cita nak sambung belajar Fizik dan kerja dalam bidang Fizik (astronomi ye, tapi kata orang macam far-fetched sangat), aku boleh nampak beza susah senang Fizik (atau subjek Sains in general la) dengan masscomm ni. Memang betul pun belajar masscomm ni senang je, tak macam belaja...
Read more

Serabut.

By -
Kepala serabut. Bukannya kerana tugasan sudah mula menimbun. Bukan juga sudah mula berasa penat kerana terpaksa berulang dari rumah ke kampus. (Rumah-kampus: 28km. Baru teringat hendak kira kilometer tengahari tadi.) Bukan juga masalah dengan kawan, bukan juga masalah dengan manusia lain. Masalahnya dalam diri sendiri. Bila kepala terlalu banyak berfikir, bila kepala tidak faham bahasa dan berhenti berfikir, mulalah merungut kepala serabut. Payah jadi manusia yang tidak tahu bila hendak berhenti berfikir, tetapi tidak pernah berfikir sebelum bercakap. Bukan seorang dua pernah berpesan, tak perlulah fikir banyak sangat. Bukan tidak pernah cuba, tetapi setiap kali kepala hendak shut down , untuk tidur, ketika itu datang idea baru untuk perkara lama. Dan idea baru itu akan dibahaskan dalam kepala sendiri, sehinggalah mata benar-benar mengantuk dan otak terlalu penat dan akhirnya tertidur begitu sahaja.  Bila bangun pagi, badan automatik akan bersiap, ambil beg, salam tang...
Read more

In just another blink of an eye.

By -
When I was at lowest point of my life, I'd like to think that everything is unfair. I'd like to think that fate cannot be changed. I'd like to think that I'm going to be in despair forever. How stupid. Wasn't I the one who said that no matter how unlucky my life is, there will always be someone who is worse than me but are still smiling? That the term unlucky is only for the pessimist. That the fact of whether how much luck we have depended on how we get through everything in life. True, I had my share of bad days. True, I've lost things along my life. True, some of them are because of myself. Only to find out that I can enjoy the next normal day because I had my share of bad days. Only to find out that in order to gain some, I have to lose some. Only to learn that making mistakes is how I make myself better. What are you afraid of? You think that the problems you've seen are something you can't handle? Why do you think you can't han...
Read more