23.

By -
Is now officially 23 years old. God, I feel old.

23 is nothing, I know. But somehow, I've always feel like I'm at least three years older than my current age. At least. At the moment, my head is so messed up that I feel like 30.

A lot of ups and downs throughout the 23 years. And dad was helping me to remember where I came from by telling stories on the day I was born. I wasn't the first child my mum was pregnant with, I'm the first child that made it alive and well. (Yes, mum had a miscarriage before she was pregnant with me.) So instead of me looking back to my life, it was dad who was reminiscing the old days (the younger days, my sister said). 

Honestly, I really didn't do anything yesterday. The rest of the day was like any other normal weekend, and I spent a minutes looking for my phone because I forgot the date yesterday. And that was after I have friends wishing me happy birthday. See how I can say I feel old?

Anyway, that's that. And it could be because I was so stressed out last week, I forget everything that I should be remembering. Yeah, sometimes being me sucks. But then again, I enjoyed being myself too much that I still don't want to throw myself away; the good parts and the bad parts.


p/s Speaking of throwing myself away, I think I can figure that conflict within myself, about who I really am. But that is for another day and post. :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Masscomm

By -
Image
Dua, tiga hari lepas, kat Twitter heboh orang kutuk budak masscomm. Macam-macam provoke aku jumpa, orang butthurt, orang tak kisah, orang yang pujuk orang butthurt cakap "masscomm awesome", macam-macam lagila. Orang lain maybe tak peduli pun pasal benda ni, tapi yela, kalau dah kena kutuk, mestilah nak bela diri sendiri balik, kan? Ijazah Sarjana Muda Komunikasi dan Pengajian Media dengan Kepujian (Kewartawanan). Tu course aku. Aku tak cakap aku budak masscomm dah, aku cakap aku budak Journalism. Sebab apa? Sebab fundamental masscomm dah belajar masa diploma. Masa diploma, yup, aku budak masscomm. (Sekarang pun masscomm, tapi dah ada major). Sebagai budak yang dulunya suka Fizik dan bercita-cita nak sambung belajar Fizik dan kerja dalam bidang Fizik (astronomi ye, tapi kata orang macam far-fetched sangat), aku boleh nampak beza susah senang Fizik (atau subjek Sains in general la) dengan masscomm ni. Memang betul pun belajar masscomm ni senang je, tak macam belaja...
Read more

Serabut.

By -
Kepala serabut. Bukannya kerana tugasan sudah mula menimbun. Bukan juga sudah mula berasa penat kerana terpaksa berulang dari rumah ke kampus. (Rumah-kampus: 28km. Baru teringat hendak kira kilometer tengahari tadi.) Bukan juga masalah dengan kawan, bukan juga masalah dengan manusia lain. Masalahnya dalam diri sendiri. Bila kepala terlalu banyak berfikir, bila kepala tidak faham bahasa dan berhenti berfikir, mulalah merungut kepala serabut. Payah jadi manusia yang tidak tahu bila hendak berhenti berfikir, tetapi tidak pernah berfikir sebelum bercakap. Bukan seorang dua pernah berpesan, tak perlulah fikir banyak sangat. Bukan tidak pernah cuba, tetapi setiap kali kepala hendak shut down , untuk tidur, ketika itu datang idea baru untuk perkara lama. Dan idea baru itu akan dibahaskan dalam kepala sendiri, sehinggalah mata benar-benar mengantuk dan otak terlalu penat dan akhirnya tertidur begitu sahaja.  Bila bangun pagi, badan automatik akan bersiap, ambil beg, salam tang...
Read more

In just another blink of an eye.

By -
When I was at lowest point of my life, I'd like to think that everything is unfair. I'd like to think that fate cannot be changed. I'd like to think that I'm going to be in despair forever. How stupid. Wasn't I the one who said that no matter how unlucky my life is, there will always be someone who is worse than me but are still smiling? That the term unlucky is only for the pessimist. That the fact of whether how much luck we have depended on how we get through everything in life. True, I had my share of bad days. True, I've lost things along my life. True, some of them are because of myself. Only to find out that I can enjoy the next normal day because I had my share of bad days. Only to find out that in order to gain some, I have to lose some. Only to learn that making mistakes is how I make myself better. What are you afraid of? You think that the problems you've seen are something you can't handle? Why do you think you can't han...
Read more