a Life's Story

Stop barging in from the past and ruining my good day, can't you?

Perhaps a little nudge on the shoulder or a poke in the ribs can make you realise what is happening? Maybe. There are endless possibilities, and I don't want to take risks so I'm taking my hands off on any bets that people may have out there.  That said, I'm tired. Mentally and emotionally. Thank you though.

I missed my friends :( Sorry takde gambar dengan Farah, Sue and Za. Nanti kita ambik ek :) * Sebenarnya ada dengan Sue, tapi aku tak comel. :D And sorry la, gambar main kidnap je. Hehehe

I'm usually a good liar. Especially to myself. I have seven years to get this right. I can just tell myself it's okay, and I'll believe it easily, even when it's not. Yeah, "it's okay" is my best lie. I have many more, but this works best in any condition, no matter how much I'm in distress. And it seems like that seven years work will be gone in less than a month. And I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing.

I love my friends and I'm forever grateful for them. *** Tapi malu nak ngaku depan-depan. （ ＾ν＾）

Happy Eid Mubarak! （ ＾ν＾）

I want to believe, that I will find the answer. I want to believe, that it's not time for the answer to reveal itself yet. I want to believe, that without the answer, I can go on. I want to believe, after patiently searching, the answer is worth all the wait and trouble. And yet, believing blindly is kinda hard. On your own, though.

When you believe without doubts, then everything can be made possible. Isn't it? When you're going through the lowest point of life, if you believe it's nothing, won't you be able to move forward?  When you have received something, and you believe it's not a sincere gift, won't it be something that you'll neglect? When you are unsure of what's happening, and you believe things are fine, really believe, won't it turned out that way?  When it's time to make a decision, and you're wondering which one should you choose, won't it be better if you choose something that you believe in? Because you believe; you have faith. Even if something will happen, with believe and faith you can go through everything. Everything, believe me.

Perhaps even without my family to support, I can still find the little things that matter. And when it's too much, I can always take a break and rethink of everthing, can't I? :)

Wake up early, get ready, an hour drive through the crazy traffic to get to work. 5.30 go home, dinner, shower, etc, etc. Once every week, long drive back to campus, for Tuesday class. I'm a student. I work part-time as a kindergarten teacher. (Which has only been a month) I'm not tired of going back and forth Melaka-Puncak Alam every week, but while working, and while driving for almost an hour going to and back from work, I have lots of things that I can think of. I wonder, if these people that are going to work along with me everyday have someone they wanted to support? Be it children or parents. Maybe that's what motivating them to go through the bad traffic, face the work they don't really like, but they have no choice but doing it. (I doubted everyone ended up with the work of their dream, because we live in the reality) I wonder, when I have finished all my study, and I get a proper job. And unfortunately the job is something that I don't like. W

What? You have forgotten that we exist? Good for you. Live your life in your own bubble. Until the bubble pops right in front of your face, don't ever, ever come look for me. You have forgotten me anyway :(

I'm the kind of person that you can't rush. I will get flustered if you say, "Amalina, hurry up," a thousand times. And I'll ended up doing work that you don't want to see. I'll ended up forgetting things in a rush. Which, will make things worse.　 I like subtle things. I do things at my pace, and I'm the only person who can rush myself. But if you get frustrated, look into my eyes, and say this calmly: "Amalina, it's ten o'clock and we need to be there by ten thirty," I don't like to be rushed, and I do things at my pace. But when I know I'm late, I can time myself so we will be there on time. Insya Allah.

The words below are lyrics to a song, the song title is the subject of this post. I said this on Twitter, few days ago: Tat-chan's Rabbit or Wolf is scary, but it's reality. In the song, both the Rabbit and the Wolf are what we call human beings. People around us, people in the world that we live in. It's the general idea, but I think it's an accurate summary of the people in the world.  Not everyone of us, but yeah. TRANSLATION credits: tppwendy Once upon a time, at that place There was an old cruel wolf That was really cunning Wolf wanted to have the lovely appearance of Rabbit So it pretended to be Rabbit’s good friend Stretching out its hands, Wolf put out its red tongue to lick its lips And stabbed at Rabbit’s white nape with its fangs. It ate Rabbit up. A story like that Also exists in our world nowadays There are a lot of cunning wolfs They approach us with elegant smiling faces And pretend to be good friends Then stretch out their ha

Sometimes we need to run away. Sometimes we need to take a break. Sometimes we'll find things not according to plan. Sometimes we just need to stop thinking too much.