Uncertainties.
If you're to ask me now, what is it that I want in life; I'd say I don't know. I don't exactly feel demotivated, or dreading anything but if you ask me how do I see myself in another five years, I cannot see anything. I used to be able to have a picture of myself going through something, or achieving something. Right now it feels like a blank canvas. Not exactly dark or in a gloomy sense, though. Despite no longer having goals, I feel normal. Not too sad, not overjoyed either. But sometimes I can't help but wonder what will it be like if things are different. Like if I'm still working, or if my mother in law is still around; things that are no longer within my reach. There was the time when these thoughts would be able to kill my head, but no longer. I just wonder and wonder, and never managed to get an answer or goals or whatever it is that I'm looking for. It does not feel completely empty, it just feel weird. This was not someone I'd imagine I woul